Procrastination

Y’all, a few weeks to a month ago, I was sitting in church and the word “procrastinate” came to mind. Now, it didn’t come to me while the sermon was being preached or the devotion for the offering was being done. And it didn’t come to me while the responsive reading was happening. It came during the middle of a song. A song that had nothing to do with the word. So, at that moment I was like, “huh? What are You talking about God?” So, I looked the word up in Webster’s Dictionary, on my phone. Read the meaning of the word and said, “Lord, what am I procrastinating with? What are You trying to tell me?” And I sat there for a few more seconds and then He said, “with Me.” And of course, me being me asked, “with You?” And He said, “Yes, with Me.” And as I sat there He began to show me that I was procrastinating on having a true relationship with Him and living the way He has called me to live. I’ve been saved (believing and confessing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of my life) since the age of 12. What does He mean? I do have a relationship with Him. But as the service went on, songs sung, offering taken up and the sermon being preached and taught, it was made very clear to me, that I have been half doing my relationship and not living ALL the way for Him. Talk about a humbling experience. Talk about getting unexpectedly gut checked. And by God at that. It was truly a wow moment. But it kicked this season of change and growth into high gear. What I didn’t know was that God was preparing me for where I am now. No more playing, half doing things. When I do things, especially when operating in the gifts that He has blessed me to have, I don’t like giving 50%. I like to give a 100% and beyond. But He gut checked me that day and helped me realize that I was not giving my relationship with Him and my life that I was supposed to be living for Him a 100%. Why would I do that to the God who has provided for me? Watched out over me? Healed my body? Kept me this far in my life? Opened my heart to Him at 12 and more? He showed me that day, it’s time to stop procrastinating and thinking I can put everything else ahead of that relationship and give it my all, but when it comes to Him, half do as He has called. I didn’t know what would come after that, but I soon found out. I began to feel uncomfortable in my comfort zone and the desire to get to know Him better and to live for Him became more and more apparent. He began to show me myself and that was truly humbling. Sometimes, we can get comfortable and not give it all when we think that we are. I truly felt I was giving my best and living as God had called me, but He showed me, that I wasn’t. And living for God, that is a constant and evolving type of relationship. Just when you think you have it together and coasting, God can come in and say, “Nope. You’re here and I need you there.” This current season that I’m in, although I know it’s helping build and strengthen my relationship with Him, ooh wee, it is not easy. Not at all. But anything worth having and of good quality is not easy to get. You have to work at it.

The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.- Proverbs 13:4 (NKJV