I CAN: Go with the flow (especially when it comes to my kids)

I don't know about y'all, but I STRUGGLE going with the flow. As a planner, its very hard for me to just go with the flow and let things happen as they should. And that even applies with my kiddos. When I became pregnant with my oldest (daughter, Lauren) all I wanted to do was plan, plan and plan. I was so excited to see each milestone, plan birthdays, determine future activity participation and more. If it were up to me, I would have planned out the first 18 years of her life. Of course, as a Christian, this is hilarious because God is in control and just because I want something for her doesn't mean that is what He has for her.

This week, as only God could do it, through LoLo, He taught me a lesson about always trying to plan and wanting things to go my way. And how I just need to live and go with the flow. Of course, the flow is going the way that God would have for me to do it and to trust Him as He is doing it. From the moment she was born, I wanted her to take swim lessons. I'm not exactly sure why but she didn't hit the pool (for lessons), until she was three years old. Her first level class she loved it and I loved seeing her in the water. Once she completed that level, she was promoted to the next. Lauren didn't start off great in this class but she seemed to be improving. The last couple of weeks she began to say, " I don't want to go swim." I didn't think too much of it because she has been mixing up the meanings of "don't" and "want." But her actions in class began to tell us what she was trying to communicate before. She really didn't want to be there. My husband, Armand, and I had several discussions about this and I just couldn't wrap my mind around her not liking it and the possibility of pulling her out of swim. After a conversation with my aunt and a reminder of something ,my mom told me several times, it was ok that Lauren didn't want to do it and even at four, she knew. I wanted this more than she did. I've paid for this, we take her to class and we re-iterate what her instructor tells her. How could she not like this? And as my husband reminded me, she's four and she may not find her forever sport/ activity at this early of an age. I had a plan in my head and things were not going the way that I thought they would go. Even if she didn't do this long term, I thought she would at least finish the semester . Growing up, when I started something, especially an activity, I had to see it through to the end of the season or term. That's what I wanted for my LoLo. It never occurred to me that it may go another way.

As crazy as it sounds, what I learned through this situation is that I need to remember that my children are people. They will have their own interest , wants, desires, dreams and more. As parents, we are here to guide, nurture, love, comfort, oversee and more for our children. As parents, you want the best for you children and have good intentions, but sometimes we have to step back. watch and listen. That also means, allowing them to be them. And them possibly saying no to things that we may think is best for them. Like swim. LOL!

Now, you may be thinking, "why was this such a big deal? It's just swimming." Well, its better I learn this now than later when she and her brother are older and I'm older and may not hear what they are trying to say to me. When I may not want to accept their likes and dislikes.

Going with the flow is not easy for me, but I think my children are going to help me get better at it as time goes. I look forward to letting go and going with God's flow.

Steph :)